No one likes a Wheelsucker

By the way, far from a comment on either rider shown in this picture,
because in my opinion they are both legendary.

Wheelsuckers are cruel and heartless riders that lack the confidence to do their own work. Hey look, one just popped into your head didn't they? They are the foul dust that floats in the wake of your bike, in the paraphrased words of F Scott Fitzgerald. If he did cycle. Which I don't think he did. Nonetheless, misquoting aside, we don't like them.

They think they are being smart sitting there as you push air out of the way for them, which sadly is true. They are saving up to a third of their energy which they didn't work for in the first place, while you sweat it out on the front. But in reality, they are only doing themselves a disservice as they are only training at two thirds of the level that you are, and as they unlock themselves from your wheel and pull out from behind you to contest the sprint every one is eyeing up, you know you did all the work to get them to that invisible line that carries much weight in bragging rights. And instead of feeling down and angry, you should be saluting, like Julian Dean (New Zealand rider considered by Thor Hushovd as the greatest lead out man in the peloton) delivering Tyler Farrar over the line in first place. You did all the work through the hard stuff when your heart rate is touching over 200 beats per minute and you are elbow to elbow with a man who has calves the size of ancient Egyptian obelisks.

But really, we all wheel suck. And we are not as bad as I just made you out to be if you are a wheel sucker. Well most of you anyway. It is as irresistible in cycling as EPO to cyclists during the late 90's. I also am a wheelsucker but I hope my cycling friends would testify to the fact that I do my fair share of work too. And really we should be thankful to the occasional wheelsucker, because as they sit there, they are actually putting themselves in the low pressure wake behind us, which in turn lowers your drag coefficient and you end up going faster. That in itself is nicer than pulling some Tom Boonen move where you are left with over 50 km to go and no one to fill your low pressure wake. (In reference to his 2012 Paris-Roubaix attack). And I find it is good motivation you have someone behind you, it gives a marked psychological advantage relative to just rolling alone.

But in conclusion to my extended rant on the common and loathsome wheelsucker, I provide a method of ridding of a serial offender. Patiently wait, and churn out the watts on the front, when an appropriate long climb approaches, thrash it up there in the big 'ring until the delinquent drops off your wheel and suddenly experiences the foreign effects of aerodynamic drag. When they are a suitable distance behind, throw it into the small chain ring and regret all the lactic acid you have forced into your legs. You may then proceed to soft pedal to the top at 8 kph. Trust me, its satisfying.